Loneliness

Audio By Carbonatix

Do you ever feel lonely? Have you had the thought that nobody understands you? If so, I want you to know that you’re not the only one going through that. There is a sad irony to the fact that our world is more connected than it’s ever been, and at the same time, so many people feel alone and isolated. It’s a powerful reminder that loneliness isn’t the result of the lack of a transfer of information, it’s a lack of connection.

As hard as it may seem to reach out and talk about this, make sure that you don’t keep that to yourself. Instead, talk to other people about how you’re feeling. The reason this is so important is because the best cure for loneliness and isolation is not more isolation—it’s openness and community! Even if you’re just connecting with one other person about these experiences, that will make a big difference.

I’m speaking from personal experience here. I have these moments of loneliness and there are times when I feel misunderstood and alone. I’ve found that the more I keep those thoughts and feelings to myself, the bigger and truer they seem to me. I’ve found that opening up and sharing my experiences with others is often what allows me to break through and to see that I’m not the only one going through what I’m going through. I’m constantly surprised when I open up and share my vulnerabilities that other people aren’t just there for me—they can actually relate!

Even if you haven’t personally experienced this, my guess is that somebody in your family probably has. Take some time this week to check in with your wife, your kids, and your grandkids to see how they’re doing. The fact that loneliness happens entirely in somebody’s inner world means it can be easy for us to miss, even when people close to us are dealing with it. You can touch in with them by asking questions that go a bit deeper than, “How are you doing these days?” You can target loneliness specifically by asking them about their relationships, how they feel they’re fitting in, or if there are some things they would like to see change in their lives in general.

Loneliness presents a unique challenge in that it’s possible to be surrounded by people while still feeling alone. So, don’t be too quick to assume that nobody in your home could be dealing with loneliness because they’re living with other people and they aren’t eating dinner alone every day. Don’t assume that because somebody has a people-facing job, they don’t need any more (or deeper) social interactions. Because surface-level small talk has very little to do with creating a genuine connection with another person.

If you’re lonely, do your best to dig deep and take the chance to reach out and let somebody know how you’re doing. If you’re wanting to know if the people around you are lonely, work to connect with them in more meaningful ways than just the quick, easy greetings as you each head in different directions. I believe that by connecting more meaningfully and deeply with our family members and the people around us, we will feel like we belong to a community rather than feeling like semi-isolated or misunderstood people who are struggling to find a place to belong. When we create that type of dynamic in our family lives, we will be winning more often at home.