Less Here, More There

Audio By Carbonatix

It’s a natural human tendency to want to gather more and nicer things. I also think that while most of us are chasing all of this stuff, we’re thinking, “If I get more, it will be better!” However, when we get the things we want, we find that they don’t live up to what we imagined or fill us with endless joy, and we’re disappointed.

Sometimes, we’re chasing “more” because we want life to be more comfortable or convenient. Other times, we get caught up in comparing what we have to what other people have. But what is interesting is how often we compare ourselves to people who have more than us and how rarely we compare ourselves to people who have less than we do. No matter where the impulse to chase “more” comes from, it typically has pretty similar results: New stuff is exciting…but not for very long.

I want to encourage you to take a look at the ways you may have lost perspective and may be pursuing some of the things that don’t matter all that much to the neglect of the things that truly matter. Basically, it boils down to a simple idea: When you focus less on helping your kids or spouse live in a bigger house or drive a nicer car and focus more on investing in your relationship with them and spending time together, it will make a big difference in your family.

No matter how many times we hear from retirees or people on their deathbed that their regrets are less about work and finances and more about family and relationships, it somehow doesn’t quite sink in. It’s easy to hear about those kinds of regrets and think, “Good to know. Once I get to a stable point in my career, I’ll scale it back a bit,” or, “It’s easy for them to say; you don’t have work or money regrets when you’ve had a successful career or investment strategy.” Those are fair points. I’m not saying that everybody should do the bare minimum for their work and only spend time with their family. I’m not saying that your career or 401k aren’t important. I’m just saying that they aren’t nearly as important as your marriage and family.

I truly believe that time with the people that you love (even if you’re in a beat-up old house and driving a car that is 20 years old) is more meaningful and valuable than upgraded versions of “stuff” at the cost of being able to have quality time with your family. In other words, maybe it’s time to spend a little less time and energy on climbing the corporate ladder and a little more time and energy playing with your kids or grandkids.

Even as I’m writing this, I can imagine objections from people who are facing a “can’t-miss” work opportunity or feel like arriving at that next level of success will bring them enough financial peace that they’ll finally be able to relax a bit. Obviously, I don’t know the specifics of each person’s situation, but I do know that the most valuable gift you can give to your family is meaningful time together. When you make that a priority, you’ll be winning more often at home.