In Defense of the Marriage Getaway

Audio By Carbonatix

How about a quick survey? Will the married couple who can drop everything and retreat for a full weekend this month please stand up? Anybody? No takers? If you’re married, it’s likely you already know that there are a million and one reasons to not get away with your spouse. No matter what stage of life you’re in, you can probably think of countless excuses to avoid taking off together. For starters, there’s the time issue. Between projects at work, commitments around town, assignments from school, reunions with family, outings among friends, and the annual neighborhood block party, your calendar is already set to buzzing for the next 38 weeks.

With a limited supply of vacation days and an already hectic schedule, how could you possibly squeeze yet another plan into the mix? Furthermore, is it really worth the money to go away as a couple? These days, the price of fuel for a trip out of town will set you back a cool Benjamin Franklin or two, not to mention that you’d also need a place to stay, entertainment, and meals to eat. Cost-wise, wouldn’t just a nice, regular, Friday night dinner be money much better spent?

And let’s be realistic: plenty of things are already staking claim to your cash flow. The roof needs repair, shoes are wearing thin, the grocery list never ends, the car brakes are squealing again, and little Susie could really use a new backpack. Speaking of Susie, there’s also the issue of children. If you don’t have children or if your children are grown, the idea of a getaway might seem ridiculous—who would you be getting away from? On the other hand, if you do have children at home, leaving them for a weekend has the potential to result in a whole range of emotionally-scarring incidents.

There’s the guilt you might feel at leaving them at Aunt Mildred’s house, the anxiety that they’ll trash the place, the concern that they’ll let the dog run loose, and the nagging suspicion that they’ll eat chocolate for dinner every night, leaving the fruits and vegetables to rot on the counter. No, no, no—you can’t have any of that, so it’s probably best if you just stay home, right? Besides, there’ll be plenty of time to get away when we’re older, won’t there? After all, those silver-haired, golden anniversary couples always seem to be driving off in Winnebagos together. That kind of thing just happens later, doesn’t it?

Well, no. It doesn’t—especially because, if you and your spouse aren’t spending one-on-one time together, you’re a lot less likely to make it to the Winnebago age. How do you think those older couples got there, anyway? Although kids, schedules, and money come and go in a home, it is the marriage relationship that should last. Building a successful bond with your spouse requires focused time spent building a bond together. The best way to do that is to get away.

If you can set aside time for only each other, you’ll get the chance to relax and refresh. You’ll be able to put your schedules in perspective, to reach agreements in your finances, and to discuss parenting solutions. You’ll also get to have some playtime: watching movies together, enjoying quiet dinners over candlelight, cuddling on the couch, and rekindling the passion in your relationship. (By the way, the passion is spectacular when you’re out of town.)

A getaway will breathe new life into your relationship. You’ll wonder why you didn’t start getting away years ago. You’ll be closer, you’ll be more in love, and your marriage will be stronger than it was when you left. Strength like that is what keeps a couple going, at least until the next year’s trip. And then until the next year’s trip. You see? Sooner or later, you’ll be shopping for that Winnebago together.